Stupid Service
by Rebel Without An Existence
Summary: What happens when Albel and Fayt are in the Secret Service, Nel is a secretary, and Roger is President? One shot. Please R&R.


_**I'm back! Well, for anyone who cares. I got this crazy idea the other day to put some Star Ocean people in a Presidential security thing. It'll be more understandable when you read it. Hope you enjoy!**_

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Star Ocean, but I own Tri-Ace and Square-Enix. Wait a minute, I DO own Star Ocean!_**

_**(Just kidding.)**_

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_**Stupid Service- A One Shot**_

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"We have the outside perimeter of the President's office secure."

"Affirmative."

Albel and Fayt stood outside the President's office in their FBI type suits looking important. This was their newest job. With Luther gone, they needed some way to put bread on the table.

So there they stood in silence for a long time occasionally moving to scratch an itch. The only other activity was that of Albel taking off his black glasses to clean them with his shirt, and that of Fayt brushing something off his leg. Then more silence.

The two looked at each other and smiled.

"I love this job!" Fayt exclaimed acting giddy.

"This is so cool!" Albel squealed in delight.

"Too bad we have to work for the President," said Fayt becoming less enthusiastic.

"I say we shoot him and then become a dictatorship!" Albel suggested getting hyper.

"I like the way you think."

Even though the plan was so sudden, they had their minds set on it. The two pulled out their Secret Service guns at that moment.

"You're the whole reason I took this job," said Albel rubbing his gun like it was a magic lamp.

Fayt turned to the door, gun ready.

"Lets get him!" he said.

Meanwhile inside the office, the President went on with his work without any idea of what his guards were plotting against him.

"It's good to be President!" Roger said (Yes, Roger's the President)."Power, fame, a hot secretary."

Nel scowled in her little corner. She cursed the clipboard she was sporting and the business outfit she was forced to wear. Even with the experience she had, this was the best job she could get.

"They don't pay me enough to do this job...," Nel mumbled hatefully.

President Roger jumped in his chair and started to spin around in it.

"Ah yes, it's good to be me," he sighed spinning faster.

Suddenly the doors to his office burst open revealing Albel and Fayt with their guns loaded.

"Forfeit the power, maggot! Or die!" yelled Albel pointing his gun at the President.

"So what's it gonna be?" Fayt joined in with his weapon ready to go.

Roger hopped off his chair looking quite ticked off.

"My Secret Service has turned on me!" he cried. "Secretary!"

Nel threw her clipboard to the floor and pulled out her own gun. Now she was looking happy.

"I'm reliving the old FBI days!" she said.

And then the bullets flew. Roger hid underneath his desk as Albel and Fayt let out a volley of shots. Nel managed to dodge them (although one grazed her skirt). Nel fired back a few but they missed terribly. In fact, during the next few minutes, it was clear that all three had bad accuracy. The closest one to hit someone was the one that had torn past Nel's skirt.

After a long while, Albel and Fayt both ran out of firepower and were cornered to the wall. Nel held out her gun at arm's length to their heads.

"Sorry it has to end this way, boys," she said.

Just as she was about to pull the trigger, something started to beep. It came from Nel's watch. She turned it off and started to walk away.

"It's time for my lunch break," Nel explained before completely vanishing from sight.

Roger, who had come out of hiding, stared at the two. Albel and Fayt stared back. They all stared blankly for a minute before Fayt broke the silence.

"Oh yeah," he said and stood up.

He aimed at Roger.

"You're defenseless!"

Albel followed suit.

"Just give us the power and we'll try to make your death as painless as possible."

The President sat there without anything to say. But you all know that didn't last long.

"... NEVER!"

The little Menodix brought out a huge bazooka set at 'ultimate power.' Albel and Fayt screamed. They ran with Roger on their tails.

"You will all fear the wrath of El Presidente Roger S. Huxley!" he called out after them.

After a long time of running, hiding, and still more running, they were caught. And a great torture befell them. Nowadays, this is their life now.

Albel had a look of pure disgust upon his face.

"I can't believe we were replaced!" he said angrily.

Fayt was so sad, he was almost in the depression state.

"We became secretaries... What would my parents say?"

"Shut up over there!" Roger scolded from the comfort of his spinning chair. "And where's my coffee?"

I bet you're wondering who replaced their posts. Well, that's coming up right now.

Outside the office, the two new members of the Secret Service were on duty.

"We have the outside perimeter of the President's office secure," said Nel.

"Affirmative!" Peppita said.

So the lesson here: Don't try to overrun the President unless you're one hundred percent sure your gun of doom is bigger than his gun of doom!

**_The End_**

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_**That's it. Hope itwas good enough. Please leave a review. Thanks for reading!**_

_**Oh, wait, I have a question: Doesn't it tick you off when people don't like Albel just because of the way he dresses? And then they start calling him 'a girl' or 'gay?' Doesn't that just make you wanna scream? It makes me so freaking mad!**_

_**Anyway, thanks again!**_


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